And it’s hard to hate someone once you understand them.
Lucy Christopher, Stolen: A Letter to My Captor (via rssian)

(via fictionalheroine)


deadlyflashesofgreen:

I don’t watch this show, but that’s a sick Ass burn.

(via fictionalheroine)


professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

professorfangirl:

prokopetz:

This is the one time of year that I love wasps.

Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.

Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.

The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.

I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.

The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.

So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.

Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.

Fucking wasps.

I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:

image

(via theybuildbuildings)


"My best day had to be the day after I wrapped Guardians of the Galaxy. I was very homesick and coming home to my wife, and my home, and to my son, who was at the time 13 months old. My wife told me there’s a chance he won’t recognize you—but that’s okay that happens all the time. He doesn’t know, he might be a little shy…"

(via theybuildbuildings)


kingsleyyy:

u dont look like 200 likes in person


coacalin:

coacalin:

This vodka looks like a fucking galaxy bye.

VINIQ SHIMMERY LIQUEUR.
Please stop asking me.

(via madredenutrias)


blackspinelli:

urbansophisticatedgeek:

ilikeblackcocks:

imchillnjustchilln:

fuckablogname:

THINGS WE WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN!

^^^^true

Omg I miss the good ole days !!

too much-…nostalgia in one pic. I’m gonna-!! ahhhhh!

French toast crunch, frutopia and mr sketch markers are still actively sold in Canada



50kwatch:

u know what the worst thing about being a girl is… is when another girl asks u for a hair tie, but its ur last one, but u can’t say u don’t have one because she knows its on ur wrist, so u give it to her, and then she says “oh i’ll give it back!” knowing damn well she won’t, and u sit there sad because now you have to go buy another pack of hair ties that u know ur gonna lose by the end of the month

(via fictionalheroine)


Can I ship it yet?

Can I ship it yet?

(via fuckyeahdash)